Hello readers!
It's me again. This post is for all of you that are fellow ex-Mormon's.
I want you guys to feel like you can submit your stories to me. Your stories of why you left, how you feel now that you've left and so on. I can submit them anonymously or with your name. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.
I want this to be a place where we come together as one, in something huge that unites us. We deserve to have a community where we feel accepted and valued. I know that ever since I left the church I have had times where I have felt very alienated and alone.. I lost a lot of "friends" in the whole process, and I have so many people that will no longer talk to me now that they know my stance on the religion.
Have you ever felt that way when you let the world know you were no longer a part of the LDS church? If so then E-mail me! E-mail your story, your feelings, things you want people to know. Pretty much anything. Just don't start hating on other people's feelings or religious views.
E-mail me if you want your "coming out" to be announced on this blog, E-mail me if you really just want your friends and family to understand why you did what you did..
Also, feel free to E-mail me about any questions you have for me, LDS or not. If you don't want your story or questions to be featured on this blog, then let me know and I will keep the conversation between us.
I will let you know right now though, that if you send me anything hateful I will simply not respond. I am very open to a bit of debate, and serious questions.. But I will only take them if you are doing so in a respectful manner.
E-mail me at: confessionsofanexmormon@gmail.com
Let the sharing begin!
Monday, November 24, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
An inside look to how all non-Mormon's feel about door to door preaching.
Dear Mormons,
Please read this and consider this carefully.. We know you mean well when you send missionaries out, we know you think you're doing the right thing spending ridiculous amounts of money funding your sons and daughters out there doing your "lords work", we understand you think you are saving souls by going to people's houses and preaching your beliefs. We know you think a missionaries work is inspired. Well I guess not ever "non-member" knows this.. But I do! And a lot of others do as well. But no I can't speak for everyone.
Anyway! The point is.. You may think all you are doing is good when you go knocking door to door, or your son or your daughter is out there knocking door to door.. But have you ever once considered how it makes people feel? How intrusive and invasive, and well just down right rude and inconsiderate it is to do this to people? Have you ever considered the fact that if people were interested in your church and wanted to be a part of it, they could just investigate it themselves? Have you ever thought about how hurtful it is to go around telling people that your belief is better than theirs and more important than theirs? Why is it that you think it's okay for you to go around shoving your belief system on everyone else, but no one else can do it too?
Have you ever considered what you would feel like if someone came to YOUR door, undermining YOUR beliefs, pushing what they thought to be true onto YOU when you had no desire to hear it?
Well goodie goodie! It's your lucky day. An atheist man has made a lovely YouTube video all about his experiment of what it would be like to travel to Salt Lake City Utah, and preach door to door about his beliefs. People's reactions are priceless. It's truly worth a watch. Give's you a little taste of what it would feel like if roles were reversed. One man even states how "inappropriate this is".. Yes, sir, it is inappropriate, isn't it?
Link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-bWz74h518
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Top 10 things you should know about an Ex-Mormon
1. Do not assume we are deep dark and depressed. Please. The majority of us chose to leave for our own reasons, and usually those reasons sum up to the fact that the church doesn't make us happy anymore. And for those who were excommunicated, even if they want to come back, they are definitely working on themselves and finding out who they really are. Just because the church makes YOU happy doesn't mean it makes everyone happy.
2. NO! we do not all just go off the deep end and go crazy with drugs and alcohol. Do not assume the worst of someone just because they don't have an organized religion in their lives. For me personally, I have actually found more stable and even minded people outside of the church than I ever did in it. Saying every Ex-Mormon goes crazy with drugs and alcohol is like saying every Mormon is pushy and judgmental. Just because some are like that, does not mean all are.
3. We do not want to be "saved". I know LDS people think they are doing the right thing by knocking on our doors all the time trying to get us to get involved with church activities, or sending missionaries to us.. But trust me, you are not doing the right thing. If we have chose to leave the church it is for a reason, lots of reasons, and they are all very good. Do you see us coming and knocking on your door trying to take away your faith? No, you don't. So please stop doing it to us.
4. We did not just leave because of inconsiderate or rude people in our wards. Trust me, the reason for us leaving is usually for a lot of deep and meaningful reasons to us. Yes, less than positive environments at church on Sunday may have helped push us away, but it is never the ultimate reason. If that was the only reason, and we still believed in what the LDS church has to offer, the majority of us would have stayed and dealt with the people. Do not assume we are so shallow.
5. We as a person have not changed. You know that person you knew and were friends with in Sunday school? Yeah, we are still here, we are just more confident and our personalities are amplified. We are following our paths in life, and we are happier than ever. We as a person, have not changed, just a title we used to have is changed. And yes, we would still like to be friends with you.. If you aren't doing it just to push religion on us. We are who we are, you are who you are, and we both deserve a level of respect.
6. Do we plan on coming back? Well, maybe some of us. But not me, and not the people I know who are no longer inside the LDS church. It is dependent on their reasons for leaving. The majority of us have found happiness outside of it all though.. So if you have someone you know that has left, don't hold onto hope that they will return. Because the likely-hood is that they won't and don't want to, and they are probably sick of you pressuring them to do so.
7. Do we believe in God? Did we change religions? That is a question for each individual Ex-Mormon. Some no longer believe in God for their own reasons, some have gone to a different religion because they personally found more truth in it, some believe in God without feeling the need to tie themselves to any particular religion, and some believe in God and are highly spiritual. I personally believe in God and am very spiritual. I love God, I love life, and I worship how I see fit without anyone else's rules or expectations being put on it. That is how I find my happiness.
8. No. We are not trying to attack and destroy the Mormon church. At least the majority of us are not. We just want to live our lives. But yes, some of us will speak our minds on the matter and share our stories and thoughts and things we have found. Mormons are allowed to talk about what they believe in, and send people door to door.. Why shouldn't we be able to do the same?
9. Living in Utah is very hard to an Ex-Mormon. For the most part we are very disliked, our neighbors won't talk to us, people fear being around us because they fear we are going down their idea of Satan's path.. It's either that or people are far too pushy about making us come back to what they believe is right. It is very one minded in this state, and often it is emotionally hard to be here, and it is hard to make friends. Mormons think they are being hated on, but here in Utah they sure know how to dish the hate and emotional pain..
10. One of our biggest pete peeves.. At least here in Utah, is Mormons walking around talking like everyone is a Mormon or knows what Mormonism is. Don't walk up to someone on the street and say "yeah my son is serving a mission!".. Good for you! But guess what? Not everyone thinks like you, believes like you, or even knows what the heck you are talking about. And it is extremely rude to assume otherwise. Remember assumption makes an ass out of you and me! ;)
2. NO! we do not all just go off the deep end and go crazy with drugs and alcohol. Do not assume the worst of someone just because they don't have an organized religion in their lives. For me personally, I have actually found more stable and even minded people outside of the church than I ever did in it. Saying every Ex-Mormon goes crazy with drugs and alcohol is like saying every Mormon is pushy and judgmental. Just because some are like that, does not mean all are.
3. We do not want to be "saved". I know LDS people think they are doing the right thing by knocking on our doors all the time trying to get us to get involved with church activities, or sending missionaries to us.. But trust me, you are not doing the right thing. If we have chose to leave the church it is for a reason, lots of reasons, and they are all very good. Do you see us coming and knocking on your door trying to take away your faith? No, you don't. So please stop doing it to us.
4. We did not just leave because of inconsiderate or rude people in our wards. Trust me, the reason for us leaving is usually for a lot of deep and meaningful reasons to us. Yes, less than positive environments at church on Sunday may have helped push us away, but it is never the ultimate reason. If that was the only reason, and we still believed in what the LDS church has to offer, the majority of us would have stayed and dealt with the people. Do not assume we are so shallow.
5. We as a person have not changed. You know that person you knew and were friends with in Sunday school? Yeah, we are still here, we are just more confident and our personalities are amplified. We are following our paths in life, and we are happier than ever. We as a person, have not changed, just a title we used to have is changed. And yes, we would still like to be friends with you.. If you aren't doing it just to push religion on us. We are who we are, you are who you are, and we both deserve a level of respect.
6. Do we plan on coming back? Well, maybe some of us. But not me, and not the people I know who are no longer inside the LDS church. It is dependent on their reasons for leaving. The majority of us have found happiness outside of it all though.. So if you have someone you know that has left, don't hold onto hope that they will return. Because the likely-hood is that they won't and don't want to, and they are probably sick of you pressuring them to do so.
7. Do we believe in God? Did we change religions? That is a question for each individual Ex-Mormon. Some no longer believe in God for their own reasons, some have gone to a different religion because they personally found more truth in it, some believe in God without feeling the need to tie themselves to any particular religion, and some believe in God and are highly spiritual. I personally believe in God and am very spiritual. I love God, I love life, and I worship how I see fit without anyone else's rules or expectations being put on it. That is how I find my happiness.
8. No. We are not trying to attack and destroy the Mormon church. At least the majority of us are not. We just want to live our lives. But yes, some of us will speak our minds on the matter and share our stories and thoughts and things we have found. Mormons are allowed to talk about what they believe in, and send people door to door.. Why shouldn't we be able to do the same?
9. Living in Utah is very hard to an Ex-Mormon. For the most part we are very disliked, our neighbors won't talk to us, people fear being around us because they fear we are going down their idea of Satan's path.. It's either that or people are far too pushy about making us come back to what they believe is right. It is very one minded in this state, and often it is emotionally hard to be here, and it is hard to make friends. Mormons think they are being hated on, but here in Utah they sure know how to dish the hate and emotional pain..
10. One of our biggest pete peeves.. At least here in Utah, is Mormons walking around talking like everyone is a Mormon or knows what Mormonism is. Don't walk up to someone on the street and say "yeah my son is serving a mission!".. Good for you! But guess what? Not everyone thinks like you, believes like you, or even knows what the heck you are talking about. And it is extremely rude to assume otherwise. Remember assumption makes an ass out of you and me! ;)
The beginning of something new.
Lately I have been feeling this need to create this blog.. A place where I can put my thoughts on this sensitive subject, and help support those who are like me and feeling alone, while also helping to educate those who don't understand my choice or situation.
Let me just say right off the bat that this blog is not meant to offend anyone, or bash anyone's belief systems. I am just going to be posting my personal view on the subject and some facts I have found. I ask that if you cannot keep things respectful of my beliefs, and other's beliefs to please keep your comments to yourself. Mormon's are allowed to have their "I'm a Mormon" stuff going on, why can't Ex-Mormons.
We live in a world where not everyone is the same or thinks the same.. We cannot all be expected to fit inside one neat little box. I was once expected to fit inside that little box, and I found that I never really fit. I was all squished and falling out of it. I chose to step away. And that is a choice I have not once come to regret.
Welcome to my new project,
Confessions of an Ex-Mormon!
Let me just say right off the bat that this blog is not meant to offend anyone, or bash anyone's belief systems. I am just going to be posting my personal view on the subject and some facts I have found. I ask that if you cannot keep things respectful of my beliefs, and other's beliefs to please keep your comments to yourself. Mormon's are allowed to have their "I'm a Mormon" stuff going on, why can't Ex-Mormons.
We live in a world where not everyone is the same or thinks the same.. We cannot all be expected to fit inside one neat little box. I was once expected to fit inside that little box, and I found that I never really fit. I was all squished and falling out of it. I chose to step away. And that is a choice I have not once come to regret.
Welcome to my new project,
Confessions of an Ex-Mormon!
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